Christians: Instead of mandatory prayer in schools, why not use grizzly bears? —The Mad Hatter

II Kings 2:23-24: "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths."

We've all been there. You're walking along minding your own business, when a gang of cocky young bastards start hurling abuse at you. Most of us would just keep walking but Elisha decides to take it one step further. Invoking the name of God he summons bears to come and claw the sh!t out of them.

Christians are constantly asking for prayer in schools to help get today's kids in line but I beg to differ. We need bears in schools. If every teacher had the power to summon a pair of child-maiming grizzly avengers, you can bet that schoolchildren nowadays would be the most well-behaved polite children ever! What do you think?

It's no laughing matter. One in five children online gets eaten by rabid bears.