Monday, January 5, 2009

What do you think is the most ridiculous story in the bible? ? —Kitus Maximus

The story that makes you say, "Wow, how the hell can people believe that?! I didn't know people could be that stupid!"

I would have to say:

1) The story of Adam and Eve
2) The virgin birth

The entire book is full of crap, but those are the stories that make me LMAO every time.

Additional Details
Yeah Noah's ark is another funny story.
I agree that lots of the stories seem fantastic, like Noah's ark and Jonah and the whale and the others mentioned already. But some believers simply see these stories as allegorical. So how about the slaughter of the Midianites in Numbers 31? Not exactly "ridiculous," but definitely leaves you wondering how the hell people can believe that this book contains the will of God.

Numbers 31
1 And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,
2 Avenge the children of Israel of the Midianites
7 And they warred against the Midianites, as the Lord commanded Moses; and they slew all the males.
9 And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods.
12 And they brought the captives, and the prey, and the spoil, unto Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and unto the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the camp at the plains of Moab, which are by Jordan near Jericho.
13 ¶ And Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and all the princes of the congregation, went forth to meet them without the camp.
14 And Moses was wroth with the officers of the host, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle.
15 And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive?
17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.
18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
31 And Moses and Eleazar the priest did as the Lord commanded Moses.
32 And the booty, being the rest of the prey which the men of war had caught, was six hundred thousand and seventy thousand and five thousand sheep,
33 And threescore and twelve thousand beeves,
34 And threescore and one thousand asses,
35 And thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him.

1 comment:

Starr said...

LMAO! Yes, this is my biggest thing with religious people. Do you believe in Santa Claus? "oh no, thats just ridiculous" but you believe in a supreme being answering tons of prayers, picking people randomly making miracles happen in their life and being born from a virgin woman, but NOOOOOO they in no way can believe in some man making his rounds dec 24th, hitting up all the places people live delivering toys all by means of a flying a sleigh and raindeers! Oh come! I equate both stories the same! "But, Starr, you lack faith" YES I DO.