Temple endowed ex-mormons, what was your reaction to going through the temple the first time? —bogidu

Did your experience have anything to do with you falling away from the church? How did the experience affect your relationship with other church members?

I didn't find it that strange really. My first time through was after the blood oaths were removed, so no doubt that helped. I was mostly just confused by it all, and trusting that it would make more sense later.

You know, when you're absolutely convinced of something it doesn't really even occur to you to question whether this is what the temple ordinance ought to be like. My mindset was probably more like the first day of school or a new job--just trying to remember all the things I was supposed to do and say.

I do remember going home afterwards and standing in my new garments in front of the mirror and thinking, This is going to be on me for the rest of my life. It was not a comfortable feeling, even for a believer like me.