What do you have to do to become Mormon? I live where there are no Mormon churches around but think that I would like to join. How can I find out where the closest Mormon church is to me?Why is this question reminding me of Monty Python?
Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: You don't vote for kings!
Woman: Well 'ow'd you become king then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis (laughing): Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Arthur: BE QUIET!
Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Arthur: Shut UP!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
All right, back to your question about a baptism ceremony to become Mormon.