Monday, May 19, 2008

What can I say to my boyfriend who has started reading anti-mormon websites?
At first he was happy I had found a new church but now he's been reading anti-mormon websites and he told me to NEVER mention my faith ever again. A lot of people have told me to dump him, but I love him and I won't do that. He's so supportive of my mental health problems and I want us to be together. What can I do?

hibby76, I wasn't brought up in the church. I've only recently got in touch with my local chapel. —LanPingPug. A Wannabe Duck!

Is your boyfriend a Christian? A lot of the more vitriolic stuff about Mormons tends to come from other Christian faiths who are convinced that their brand of Christianity is better. If so, I'd tell him to spend equal time with sites that are critical of his own faith, like That might help him see how deep-seated your beliefs are and how difficult it can be to accept negative things that outsiders might say.

While I'm no longer Mormon myself, I understand that people adopt faiths for other than intellectual reasons, so intellectual arguments tend to not be very convincing for some. I think the love you have for each other is worth fighting for, but you need to be clear with him about boundaries and what is open to debate.

I suggest you ask yourself two questions, and share your honest responses with your boyfriend. First, if Mormonism is not all that it claims to be, would you want to know? That's a big one, and I'm not suggesting there's a right or wrong answer. You just need to be clear about where you stand.

Next, if you decide that you really would want to know, ask yourself: if Mormonism is not what it claims to be, how would I know? (Hint, you wouldn't know this from feelings alone, because that's what convinced you it was true to begin with.)

I think if you're open with each other about why you choose to believe what you do and set appropriate boundaries about what's open to debate, you have a great chance of succeeding in your relationship.

Good luck,

Arianna R wrote: "Put God before everything and you will be okay."
Arianna, there's a word for people who take that advice to heart, they're called suicide bombers. Telling her to dump her boyfriend whom she loves and cares for over beliefs about what happens when we're dead? I'm sorry, that's really bad advice.

slcbtf wrote: "It is truly and uneducated person who approaches any subject with biased opinions. There are plenty of sites that provide resources to the junk that is out there."
Slcbtf, I'm speechless. Here's a little poem for your enjoyment:

O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion:
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
An' ev'n devotion!
--Robert Burns

Oh boy, one more ...
hibby76 wrote: "Christ was either a common criminal or the savior of the world, depending on who you ask. Let him know that he's reading a lot of lies and a lot of heavily slanted information that's written for the sole purpose of slandering Mormons."
I've seen you write more thoughtful responses than this, hibby. Your "Christ was either ..." is a false dilemma. And your persecution complex is showing. Just like slcbtf did, you're casting aspersions on people who don't buy into Mormonism rather than engaging them. I bet Scientologists also warn adherents away from "liars who hate Scientologists." I don't hate you, dude, I just think you're wrong.


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