I need to get it out and you guys are the ones who will understand.

Hi there. I've been an exmo for a decade now... and while I'm 95% over it... every once in a while I find another LDS tentacle that I haven't scraped from my brain. Last night a big tentacle reared its ugly head. I was essentially told in my Patriarchal Blessing that one of my children would die. It's a source of extreme anxiety for me. Extreme. Anxiety. I know that that "blessing" was an old man just saying stuff. I know it in my head. But, when you're 16 and you hear that one of your children will die, well, that's a mind #### that stays with you. I have a child... a beautiful 14 month old son. And I live in terrible anxiety that he will die. Every time he gets sick, even with a cold, I'm sure it's something awful (like meningitis). It's like I'm just waiting for it to happen. I've been with my husband (never ever mo) for nearly 7 years now. Things sort of came to a head last night... and I finally told him about it. He laughed in my face and asked why I hadn't burned "that piece of shit paper" yet. It didn't phase him in the least. He didn't care what some old man fixed on doomsday stuff had to say to a 16 year old me. And I realized that this is some part of Mormonism that I cling to. This one part. I've had 2 miscarriages now... and I keep wondering if *that* is what the blessing was referring to... even though intellectually I *KNOW* that the whole thing was crap. I just can't seem to let this part of it go. Is anyone else experiencing this sort of stuff? Did you and you got over it? How???
help! Thanks! Julie.

I wonder how prevalent this kind of blessing is. I had a close friend in high school whose patriarchal blessing talked in glowing terms about his youth and preparation for and then serving a mission ... and then abruptly ended. No explanation, and of course his family took that to mean he would die. (He's alive and well at 35.) Maybe these patriarchs really believe they're on to something with the morbid predictions, but it's a sick joke.

As someone who's dealt with childhood illness, I have some sense of how that fear works on a parent, NEJulie, and I'm sorry for what that patriarch has put you through. My little girl was diagnosed with neuroblastoma when she was three months old. She kicked cancer's ass, all while her dad was publicly leaving the church and subjecting his family to the buffetings of Stan. I wish you the best in taking your power back from this stupid little church.