Thursday, April 17, 2008

Help, SP coming over sunday —miracle

Just got a call, SP and 1st couselor in bisric coming over sunday. It could be a calling for DH but DH said at his TR interview he answered "yes" to "do you associate with evil apostates" because of me. I told him he should have said "I just sleep with her." Anyways I am nervous, not because I in anyway think I have done anything wrong, I just am not a great speaker and I don't want to took like a wimp. I am so much happier now. I would like advice on the usual questions I will get. Thanks ahead of time, I gotta run but will check in frequently to get prepared for Sunday.
Sounds like you're ready. A couple of other things I find it helpful to remember in situations like this:

1. Don't be afraid of silence.

2. Don't let them label you.

Most conversations don't play out like a movie script. If you're asked something and aren't sure how to respond, say, "Let me think about that ..." If they ask things that are simply inappropriate (like what particular sin has led to your disaffection), your silence can even be a weapon. Let 'em stand there awkwardly while you decide what, if anything, you'd like to respond with.

To the second point, remember that there's power in labels and the LDS church has developed several. They'll want to talk about your views in terms of "doubt," a loss of faith, and so on. Change the label and the argument disappears. If they say you've "forgotten your testimony," just reply that if we called it closedmindedness instead of testimony people wouldn't be so proud of theirs. When they say they "know" things, you can even acknowledge that: "I don't doubt that you do." Just point out that of course they wouldn't expect you to take their word for it, and they'll have to agree to that.

And of course as others have said you can also opt out of the conversation entirely if you'd prefer. You have no obligation to them. Pretend they're Jehovah's Witnesses if it helps you to not think of them as authority figures.

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